A Messy Heart

A Messy Heart.jpg

I found myself getting a bit lost and overwhelmed over the summer as I was looking at a lot of outstanding blogs and websites. What amazing women there are in the world!

And I noticed that the more time I spent looking at what other women were doing, the more I began to feel discouraged and even a bit of despair over what was an undeniable truth: I can't be everything to everyone and do everything well. 

Not that anyone was asking me to. Oh, except me. So I began to ask myself a few questions. 

What are my motives?

Do I crave success? Why?

Am I wanting to be validated? Why?

Do I want to be in some "in" crowd? Why? 

Do I want to be like other women? Why??

Can I be content with who I am and the part that God has assigned to me?

Can I be faithful there? Today? Now?

What drives me? Pushes me? Scares me? What paralyzes me and gets me off track?

What is my goal? My desire? What's in my heart?

And then this question...Do I want to cross someone else's finish line? To run their race??

What if I focused on what God is calling me to? He doesn't demand success. He asks for faithfulness. Even in the small things.

I don't have all the answers for women, but I can point them to THE answer.

I want to encourage them in the same way I need encouragement. That we might all find our identity. and place our hope, in God. 

I desire to help women to hear God for their own lives, to run the race God has called them to. 

To help them live freely and lightly; to find their all in Jesus.

To encourage them in their pain and brokenness, to point them to the heart of the Father.

To lead them to the only One who can give rest for their souls.

To help them see that they are enough in Christ because He is enough in them.

To bring comfort through my music and my words.

To help them find moments of clarity and calm in the midst of the storms, and the peace that comes from His presence.

I don't need to be someone else, or be like someone else. God created me to be me. One of a kind. You are a one-of-a-kind, too.

It can seem like other women lead almost-perfect lives, but nobody's life is perfect. No one has it all together. We all stand before the Lord and answer to Him alone for what we have done with what He gave us.

He waits for us at our own finish line and looks for us to cross that one--not another.

He expects to be valued more than money, gold, silver, fame, success, friends, following, tribe, sales, popularity, beauty, reputation, and anything else we dream up. That all means nothing to Him.

He wants freedom for all women, that every one of them would become uncaged to fly high. And He wants us to want that too, not to secretly delight when one falls or remains behind wire.

He longs for us to look at His face and hear His voice and find complete joy because the One who is most holy, beautiful, and powerful loves us, has chosen us! And nothing can ever change that. Nothing can separate us from His love.

He longs to give us His perspective so that we can walk through this life, with all its' heartbreaks, with the knowledge that this is just a journey to our real home, our real life. And we can't even begin to imagine how glorious heaven will be.

He wants us to act out of love, regardless of how we are treated or perceived or accepted, because what others think of us can't ever touch who we are in Jesus. 

He wants us to always see people as infinitely more valuable than things. To be willing to have less so that we can love more. To be okay with accomplishing less of our agenda, letting go of our to-do list, so that we can do His will and care for those right in front of us.

He longs for us to be willing to live a paradox-full life that might even look upside-down or inside out to others.

To know that our next breath might be our last breath, and to be invested in what will matter in heaven. To be willing to let go of everything else.

Jesus longs to give us life, abundant life, joy overflowing, and the peace that passes all understanding, right here in this messy, broken, beautiful, wild ride we call life. In the midst of our circumstances and relationships. In the midst of it all, He is with us.